Stories
A Closet Slut by Sonali Mohapatra
Today, Womenbeing has the pleasure and the honor to share with you a poem from a friend. Somali is a physicist, a phd student, a writer, a singer, a poet. On her amazing talk during the International interdisciplinary Conference 2017 we had the opportunity to hear her read one of her poems and we just couldn’t miss the chance to share with you.
A Closet Slut
I am a slut
who goes around the world
trying to prove that
she is not.
When I am at home,
I wear a vest
but when I open my room
to someone’s knock
I waste 5 minutes looking
for a sweater that
covers me up
and a minute
looking in the mirror
to see that the fact that
I am not wearing a bra,
does not show.
I am a slut
in comfortable
nightclothes
all day long
the gap between my breasts
showing
and my navel exposed
and I cannot sleep
unless I am wearing
sleeveless
tops
that is a little too thin
and a short shorts,
which gives me enough
air
and keeps me not too hot.
But as soon as I wake up,
I pull on a pair of slacks
and a long sleeved top
Put on my bra
before I go use the communal spaces
for people might stare
if my you-know-whats show!!
And when I am getting ready for work
or to go out somewhere,
I make sure
my necklines not too low
and my skirt won’t fly in the wind
my top is not translucent
my shorts are not too short,
my top is not too thin
my earrings are not slutty
my eyeliner does not scream
prostitute
and my lipstick does not shout
“red light district”.
My boots or heels must not look sexy enough
to “warrant” a rape
and my purse
must not be too glittery.
I also think about
how my shrieks
must not be too girly,
my smile not too suggestive
my laughter not too masculine
and my walk
not too feminine.
Everything I say should start with,
“Hey, I have a boyfriend”
not to draw you in,
If my legs are showing
they must not be
Oh so leggy-ly long!
which could go round your chest.
So I wonder,
what am I?
A closet slut?
A female in denial?
A cacophony of wrongness?
Sonali Mohapatra
To read more from Sonali check out her blog.
Picture source: Nuria Pampín
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